My JuRasSic SuRrOunDiNg

nAgsaSawA kNb sKn?

amiNin mo?

pGod kNb sA pAgmAmAhaL kO?

aYaw kO mAwaLa ka eRo kNg yAn gUstO mo aNong mAgAgAwA ko?

i wiSh he still feEls thE feElings thAt he feLt aT thE beGinNing.. tHe eMotiOns aRe sTiLL fResH in mY mEmOriEs.. hoPe hE wOn’t fOrgEt aBoUt thE cAre aNd aFfEctiOns tHat mAdE thE feELings fOndeR.. cHanGing oNeseLf iS LiKe cHanGing thE wHoLe evEnt..

cOz..

i loVed the whoLe you.. nOt oNly thE wAy yoU look.. thE wAy you aCt.. thE wAy yOu dreSs.. the waY yoU kiSseS mY LipS.. thE wAy yOu hoLd mY hAnd.. thE wAy yOu sAy "i love you" or even the wAy yOu  reSpoNd iMmediaTeLy "iloveyoutoo".. the wAy you do things thAt woULd pleAse my hEart..

bUt aLso thE waY yoU get mAd, the way you shout when frustrated, the way you argue, the way you teases me, the way you cry, the way you make me cry, and even aLL the waYs you mAke thAt keEps me huRting deep dOwn..

i take all of this because i cared and i loved you..

i accept you for who you are..

no matter what happens i will stay beside you..

aNd i wiLL cOntinue being paRt of you..

even until you let go..

you will stay here even only in my heart..

–for the person i love..

sLeEpLeSs niGhtS aRe oVer.. sitting on a chair staring blankly ahead.. wandering minds.. who are awake right now? like me.. thinking over and over.. i have a new one right now.. (no, stupid mouth..).. i have one right now (that’s just perfect).. 10 months in about 5 mins more.. maybe long for others but not for me.. i envy them, them the couples who lasted for years now.. and regretted for the long ones that ended up hating one another..

–>i would like to open my thoughts now. what am i just thinking? ahh.. i remembered, i promise myself to reconcile with the people that i hated and vice versa. and i guess i just did a really great job. except for one. december 31, 2006 in about 10:37pm, a smokey and noisy path, walking with my special someone. just the right timing to spend my new year. i saw my past. our eyes met trying to deny that we absolutely knew one another. it was just obvious. he has company, so am i. so what’s the deal? what did really bother me? is it the fact that we both hurt each others feelings? or the mere truth that our blooming romance ended up to stupid goodbyes? (oOh cOme on!) yes! all of the above.. don’t think me wrong! i don’t want to start all over again. i just wanted to fix things over, to put a period in this foolishness! i wanted to talk to him and apologize. i wanted to bring up friendship even it’s impossible. that’s it. nothing more and nothing less.

<not yet the end>